10. Ford Probe- The car seems like more of a punchline then a sport-compact. What do you call a car shaped like a suppository, available only in black, blue, purple, and white, and built to penetrate the market of people who can’t afford a Mustang? Answer: a Probe.
9. Chevy Cavalier- I am not a fan of cheap, American made economy cars, but the Cavalier takes the cake. It did not see a style change in 11 years. There were 3 different body style changes with the Honda Civic during the same time! This car is covered in cheap plastic and the suspension gives you a feeling of what it must have been like to drive a horse drawn carriage down a dirt road, except with more squeaks.
8. Chrysler Sebring- International car critic and one of my heroes, Jeremy Clarkson, had this to say about the new Sebring, “Anyone thinking of drawing up a list of the ugliest cars ever made will be forced to put this one at the top. But the worst thing was the overwhelming sense from everything you touched that it had been built by someone who was being deliberately stupid or who was four years old. Life inside that bag of crap plastic gave me some idea of what it might be like to be a boiled sweet.”
7. Hummer H3- “It may be slow but at least it’s expensive.” That about sums up the mess known as the H3. The Hummer H2 is cool because it is a big, beastly monster that commands respect and has enough power to take over small countries. It is so over the top and unpractical that it is cool. But not the H3. It is too small, too cute, and came with only 5 cylinders. Its like a 4 cylinder Jeep or a V6 Mustang, why bother?
6. Daewoo- I don’t even have to list a model (there are only 3) since the whole company consists of poor cars. They only survived in the US for 4 Years. They are by far the worst of the Korean automakers to take a stab at the US market, and that is not a very elite group.
5. Dodge Durango- Even before the recent fuel crisis made it almost obsolete, the Dodge Durango has always sucked. The worst fuel economy in its class, ugly and bubbly styling, and the loosest, least responsive steering I have ever seen. They flooded the market with them and now you can buy one that about 5 years old for the same price as a nice set of 20" wheels and tires.
4. Chrysler PT Cruiser- This was one of the first cars to go “retro” with its styling. But they somehow missed the most important pages of the muscle car playbook- make it fast and fun to drive. Rather than make it a hotrod they built it on the Dodge Neon platform and gave it the handling and feel of a minivan. It is slow, boring, and has not seen a single styling overhaul in its much warn-out 10 year run. Note- Chrysler managed to take the same retro idea and did it right in the award winning Chrysler 300.
3. Cadillac Catera- This was Cadillac’s attempt to attract young buyers with a luxury midsized car. Cadillac lauded this car as "The Caddy that Zigs." They launched a huge ad campaign, including Super Bowl Commercials, with a talking stork claiming European performance. The problem with this car is that it is extremely boring and looks and drives like a grandma car. Worst though is its reliability, or lack thereof. It has more issues with its electrical system than a hairdryer in a water fight. The internet is full of stories of Cateras where the heated seats caught fire, the power seats getting passangers pinned in their cars, and catastrophic and unexplainable engine problems.
2. Pontiac Aztec- The Aztec started out as a good idea: an aggressive looking, off-road capable, crossover SUV. The end result was an ugly plastic-clad mess, with terrible lines, and a face not even a mother could love. Time Magazine described the car well; “The Aztek violates one of the principal rules of car design: We like cars that look like us. With its multiple eyes and supernumerary nostrils, the Aztek looks deformed and scary, something that dogs bark at and cathedrals employ to ring bells.”
1. Ford Focus- The 2000 Ford Focus set the record for recalls on a car ever! One of the recalls fixed the nuisance of the rear wheels falling off of the car while it was moving! Another one attempted to fix the ignition from randomly shutting off the car. My garbage disposal runs quieter and smoother than most Focus’ I have driven. And that hideous chrome fender flair bandage they have on the new Focus needs to go away.Any that you would add to the list?
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